An Intimate Conversation With Myself

In Walang Uri on Enero 25, 2010 at 2:18 umaga

I have been thinking about this post for quite a while and I just can’t decide where to put it. You see, I have several blogs and internet accounts which are all dormant and this article, if you may call it one, would be good for the health of “the chosen one”. I decided to put it here in facebook WP just for the sake of having something new in my account. Good enough for a reason? I guess so. It’s not much of a story, but I thought it might be of help or entertaining, at the very least.

I was walking alone Ledesma St. a few days ago. I was trying to find a motor vehicle that could bring me back to my office. Yes, ANY motor vehicle. I was late, and it just wasn’t the best time for me to be choosy. I believe it holds true for everyone that walking triggers that automatic button in your head that makes you start thinking. You walk a few meters alone and you think about your boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, boyfriend, life, then job.

A few minutes more, I found myself talking to myself. It must be my aching ankles cursing the new cellulites which joined the group of other fats all around my body, or maybe the immense heat which made my underarm sweat more or most, or simply the urgency of being late which I am very used to.

“I should look for a new job.”

“Whats wrong with your job? You’re in a good position, you’re paid well, you play text twist whenever you want, you bring your own laptop and router, your online all day, you do that bank recon thing since December and you haven’t finished it yet but it’s ok, your just basically paid to go to the office…”

“You make it sound so easy!”

“Well it is!”

“I’m a fresh graduate! I want to learn more! I have this thirst for experience and knowledge in my field which I know I can’t satisfy with my job. I want to be confident about what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter if I start from the bottom, I just want to be able to take pride in whatever I’m doing. My job is a complete gray area. I don’t do paper works like other rank and file employees, but I don’t report to the president and attend management committee meetings like managers. Company policies are not clear and employees aren’t treated well. The benefits, and not the hassle, are minimal. I don’t know exactly what’s wrong. All i know is that I need a new job.”

“Don’t you think you’re one hell of lucky fresh graduate to be able to snag a job that easily? You’re not doing paper jobs because you’re not a clerk, and you should be glad you’re not in the meeting ’cause you’d be lost in the discussion anyway. Your slack time is the perfect time for you to think about the changes that you can do in your office. Why don’t you apply the “knowledge in accounting information systems” that you put in your resume and help make the lives of the employees around you easier? Instead of playing Text Twist, why don’t you plan a strategy to eliminate all the unnecessary processes in your office? You have the power to change the situation wherever you’re at. Empower yourself with the best of what you have no matter how little it is. You will see that when you learn to love the littlest of your resources, you will learn to love life, and even your job.”

“I’ve thought of that but I just think that I’m not in the position to do that and I don’t know that much about the system yet and….”

“Ah leche! Tumahimik ka na nga! Nahihiya ka lang parati kang late! Kapalan mo na lang mukha mo!”


  1. inday jhaynee….welcome bak! hahaha…ang tagal mong nawala….

    oo nga kuya.. marami na kasi nakakakilala sakin dito sa hinulugang pakpak.. hindi lahat ng naiisip ko pwede kong isulat… boooooo..

  2. haha ang kulit. lagi ka pa rin bang late jhaynee? galingan mo na kasi.

    oo nga eh.. kelangan galingin ko na, baka masibak ako sa trabaho.. hahaha!!!

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