You Gave Me A Pillow

You gave me a pillow. It was a shade of blue with small teddy bear prints and a few stains on both sides. Hand sewn stitches of white thread ran through its edges, and the unbent lines showed that it was done with patience and care. It was undeniably bigger than my other pillows, but it was just as soft. It was nothing unusual and neither was it special except for the fact that you gave me that pillow.

You gave me a pillow because you said it would remind me of you. When you were far away and whenever you could not be there for me, it would be by my side. Silent, but at the very least, present. You said that I can spray your perfume, and pretend it was you lying down with me throughout the night or maybe put it under my head and remember the times when your ams were the my source of security and strength. You said it would make me miss you less because you gave me a pillow.

You gave me a pillow and I took it for granted. We were together everyday and you were by my side every time I needed you. I dumped it in my bed like all the other pillows and left it untouched all throughout the day. It was wrangled up in my bed and sometimes even on the floor. Just like everything else in my room, it was taken for granted.

You gave me a pillow and that’s the only thing that’s left with me now. All of a sudden it meant the whole world to me. For the first time I took care of it and treated it as something important. It became special among the other things scattered in my unwelcoming room. It was loved. It’s amazing how an inanimate object can bring so much comfort and warmth. I clothed it with your t-shirt and put on your perfume. I hugged it tightly at night and wished that it would be you in my dreams. I gave it morning kisses as gently as the ones which make me wake up smiling. I pretended it was you.

You gave me a pillow and it made me realize how much I have lost since you were gone. Your pillow never gave me a hug which made me feel safe. It never kissed me back and whispered how much I was loved even after a stupid fight. All it did was absorb my tears silently and accept my hugs blankly.

You gave me a pillow but no amount of pretension could ever make me miss you less nor take away the pain of you leaving because no one can ever replace you in my life. Not anyone better than you, not anyone near me, and definitely not this pillow.